Good morning, you charming human being! Got any nice plans for your weekend?
Elite Daily recently ran an article about socially acceptable behaviours between best friends. It’s very good (and worryingly accurate): give it a read here. The article focuses on the peculiarly feminine attributes of some women’s friendships, but I think that there a few more which apply to friendships between people of either gender. Here they are:
- Strange Superstitions
In every friendship there is a phrase that both parties know has mystical powers. For some reason, whenever Ash or I say that we won’t stay out late we invariably pull an accidental all-nighter, so nowadays when the phrase is uttered we both gasp and fight the urge to spin around three times, throw salt over our shoulders, etc. It’s WEIRD.
- Irrational Hatred
Everyone has a small aspect of life that they absolutely hate or just cannot understand, and we all need a friend who can back us up on it. For example, my friend Harry and I both hate Waterloo station. We have many reasons, none of which are rational enough to go into here, but we are adamant: no good comes from going to Waterloo. Isn’t it reassuring to know that someone you love shares your slightly insane prejudices?
- I Hear Voices
Fairly straightforward: impressions, quotations, silly voices and random noises are always better when you are with someone who can truly appreciate them, i.e. someone who knows you well enough not to assume that you’ve gone insane.
- Left Field Questions
Do you remember this blog post, in which I described getting a text before 8am asking what the plural of mongoose is? That kind of thing is only ever ok between very close friends, because they are the people who appreciate that sometimes you really, really need to know something incredibly random.
- Over Indulgence
This applies to all manner of things, including the dedication of an entire day to stuffing your face and talking about the same love interest repeatedly for months at a time. Only true and loyal friends can engage in these activities together. Case in point: I am about to go and meet my friend Laura for a coffee. “A coffee” usually translates into “four or five pretty strong, industrial-sized soya lattes each”, and we don’t judge each other for it.
- The Opinion One Eighty
When your friend is enamoured of someone, you nod and smile and agree (but not too heartily) that yes, s/he is indeed very good-looking, funny, clever, etc. When the relationship sours, your job as a friend is to agree (but again, not too heartily, lest the relationship starts up again) with the opposite sentiments. The Opinion One Eighty can be a difficult one to keep up with, but we do it for our closest friends because we understand that feelings are fluid and romantic relationships are absolute minefields.
- The Inexplicable Field Trip
Only a true friend will walk to the shops with you in your pyjamas, accompany you to the play/gig/party where your ex is going to be or agree to walk over the top of the O2 arena with you. (That last one was Harry’s idea, and I’m actually pretty excited about it.) You just can’t make a fool of yourself/be emotionally vulnerable/scale a London landmark without a proper chum by your side.
Have this kind of Friday.