Hello, you brilliant human being! How are things? I can see you’ve caught the sun.
Don’t get me wrong: I love Sex and the City as much as the next twenty-something girl. It’s funny, sometimes touching, and a few of the characters are actually quite loveable. It’s excellent put-your-feet-up, do-we-have-any-junk-food, sod-it-let’s-have-a-duvet-day television. Best of all, watching it with your best friend gives you ample opportunity to complain about the insane behaviour of the characters, the implausibility of the plot lines and the animal cruelty issue of Sarah Jessica Parker being forced to act.
Maybe New York is exactly like Sex and the City, and we London girls are missing out on a whole metropolitan man-fest. I doubt it, though. Anyway, Sex and the City just wouldn’t work on our side of the pond. Here’s why:
1) Is It Actually Raining Men?
As far as I can tell, New York is having some kind of eligible bachelor epidemic, because the four main characters meet men all the time. I mean they can barely get out of the front door in the morning before a charming chap with a cheeky grin comes along. That would never work here. Londoners are usually slightly cross-looking and in a tearing hurry; we don’t have time to stop and smile winningly at random strangers. Also, we’re British, for God’s sake – we don’t smile at strangers.
2) “And just like that…”
Probably as a result of number 1), the main characters go through the same emotional roller-coaster in pretty much every episode: meet man, flirt, date, sleep together, discover unconquerable flaw, have internal struggle, break up with man, feel immediately ready to go back out there. I know some Londoners do date like that, but in general our cycle seems to be much more meet man, try to flirt but end up saying something silly/embarrassing, show great surprise and glee when he gets in contact, go on dates, discover a slightly concerning flaw, think about it, carry on dating until an actual problem comes up, break up, feel sad/angry/hungry, get back out there several weeks later feeling insecure because of getting hurt and having put on weight from all the ice-cream. Not good television, perhaps, but it’s how we do things on this side of the pond.
3) We Don’t Talk Like That
I realise that as a smart, city-slick show about a fast-paced lifestyle, it makes sense to script sharp and sassy dialogue for the main characters. Here is my problem: London girls are totally capable of being witty and hilarious, of course, but a) not ALL THE TIME – we all have off days when all we can manage is a “nhuh?” and b) not when our friends are telling us about their emotional problems.
4) No one Would be Friends with Carrie
Which leads me neatly on to my next point – why are the other three friends with Carrie? She is so busy trying to be funny that she never listens to her friends, and as a heroine she leads a spectacularly bad example of whining, hair-tossing and flirting in the most cringe-worthy manner. If she were a London girl her friends would have taken her aside a long time ago and told her to stop being such a diva. And for God’s sake, stop putting your cigarettes between your teeth, you look ridiculous.
5) We’re a Bit Busy, Really…
One thing I really do appreciate about the concept of Sex and the City is that it spins a typical female insecurity on its head to make women laugh, i.e. it portrays women comparing men in bed rather than the other way around. Having said that, the four main characters always manage to get the conversation back to sex, even when one of them is having a major life event, like a career crisis or getting married. I mean, REALLY. Talking about sex that much is just too time-consuming, too awkward and too un-British to work over here. When would we find time to talk about the weather and public transport, for goodness’ sake?
Have a beautiful Thursday.