Good morning! How are you doing? I hope you’ve got nice plans for your weekend.
For those of you who read this blog regularly (ish), you may be wondering why I haven’t yet written a post about what it was like recording Pointless. There is a very good reason for this, and it’s a very serious, grown-up, intellectual reason: um…we haven’t been to the studio yet. Due to numbers and other unpredictable things, we’ve had our studio dates postponed for a couple of weeks, but we are assured that this is a good sign and that the production team don’t usually bother providing people with alternative dates. So that’s nice.
The other potential problem is that my house mate has an acting job in Salisbury that week, so she might not be able to attend one of our new studio dates. I really hope that there’s a solution to the clash, but if not, we might not be going on Pointless after all. Sniff. It’s fine..all this revision for nothing…hours wasted on Sporcle…poring over QI books late into the night…but it’s fine. I will survive, as per the wishes of Gloria Gaynor.
In general, human beings are capable of surviving all sorts of things: bereavement, break-ups, Soho on a Friday night. Some things are more difficult to survive than others, but you are more than capable of coming out of an emotionally draining situation with your head held high. Here are a few things that I think you should do to secure your survival in any emotional hardship:
1) Look at the long term
So difficult to do, especially if you are very angry or upset, but picturing yourself in a few years’ time can be really helpful when you’re trying to recover from a nasty situation. For example, in a few years’ time you will be completely over your break-up. In the future you might run into your ex from time to time. Everybody wants to ‘win’ a break-up by being physically fitter, more successful and preferably going out with someone better-looking than the ex. If you want to ‘win’ this break-up, it’s better to go to the gym than stay in bed eating ice-cream, even though it’s what you really want to do right now. Put down the spoon.
2) Talk to nice people
Well, obviously. Talking to nasty people is no fun at all. What I mean is, it’s ok to be struggling with something and want to discuss it, whether you want practical advice or need a bit of a vent. Choose your confidant wisely and make sure that you know what you want from the exchange. I’ve made the mistake before of going to one of my clear-thinking, super-practical friends with a problem. I just wanted a bit of a moan, and he sent me away with a colour-coded to do list and a Gantt chart.
3) Be kind to yourself
This covers all sorts of things: eat healthily, sleep at proper times, drink lots of water. I know it sounds boring and mumsy-ish, but there’s a reason why people say weird things like “at least you’ve got your health”. Having your health is important because it sets you up to cope with everything else in life. And seriously, put down the ice-cream and go to the gym. You’re not winning this break-up yet!
4) Use it
As those of you who read my blog post about The Hard Man the other day will know, I firmly believe the best thing to do in a bad situation is find a way to use it to your advantage. Sometimes that’s not possible straight away, but if you’re looking for silver linings they don’t come any shinier than discovering a way to make a crisis into a success. For example, losing my job didn’t feel like such a good thing at the time, but now I’m deliriously happy because I get to write all day every day. Sure, a regular income would be lovely, but I’m doing what makes me happy, which is so much more important.
5) Aim for happiness
Don’t aim for survival. Aim for the top. Work towards your biggest goals, your most cherished ambitions and your ideal situations. If you don’t quite make it you will at least have tried, and you’ll be somewhere between happy and surviving. If you aim for survival and you fail, where the heck does that leave you?
The other thing about being happy is that it’s the best possible revenge against someone who treated you badly. Most importantly, you deserve to be happy. You’re lovely. Gloria Gaynor and I are rooting for you.
Have a splendid Thursday!