Good morning, you stunning human being! Did you have a good weekend?
Despite our best intentions and keenest hopes, we often find that life is more like an extreme sport than a walk in the park. We can have a perfectly logical daily routine, an absolutely sensible diet and sleeping pattern, an eminently sensible wardrobe and a fairly rational outlook. It doesn’t mean diddly: life is just going to do whatever the heck it feels like.
Inevitably, this leads to some great highs and some debilitating lows. When the lows hit, sometimes we need to cry. A lot of us dislike crying because it feels like a failure to cope (or even just an aesthetically displeasing transformation of our features), but it’s a necessary part of life. Some of us cry more often than others, but it does happen to all of us, and that’s absolutely fine. Here are a few ways to accept our inevitable face-leaks:
Separate the Symptoms
Sometimes we cry because of one specifically sad thing, but a lot of the time it’s because there are several contributory factors. For example, I freely admit that when I’m overtired I tend to cry at the drop of a hat (or cafetière, most likely). If you feel the need to have a bit of a sniffle, think about why that might be: did you drink a lot of alcohol last night? Have you been sleeping properly? When was the last time you ate something? The purpose behind this is not to undermine your own feelings, but to recognise that the impulse to cry can be alleviated a bit by identifying and resolving the physical factors, which are often much easier to fix than emotional ones.
Forget Where You’re From
I don’t mean to stereotype, but I think one of the reasons that a lot of us struggle with crying is because we think it contradicts who we are: if we’re British, for example, we’re supposed to have a stiff upper lip. Quite a few guys I know don’t like crying because they think it makes them seem unmanly, and several of my friends (male and female) think that by crying in front of people we are undermining years of establishing ourselves as “strong” or “good at coping”. Sod that. You’re a human being and you have tear glands. Give yourself a break.
Crying can be embarrassing, impractical and downright irritating (especially if you don’t have any tissues to hand). One thing that we can control is our audience. If you’re the kind of person who needs to be by themselves to cry, so be it. As long as you actually do make time to have a good wail, then go for your life. But if you know that you’d be better off with a friend by your side, don’t feel bad about that. It might not feel like your finest moment, but letting your friends look after you when you’re sad is actually a really lovely thing to do. They don’t want you to be upset, obviously – but if you are going to be upset, it’s a privilege and a sign of how much you trust them when you let loved ones help you.
Join the Greats
Everyone you love, respect and admire has cried at some point. Winston Churchill, Jane Austen, William Shakespeare and Mother Teresa all cried. Heck, even the amazing Liam Neeson has been known to shed a tear. Don’t feel bad about being a crier – you’re in excellent company.
Find Something Funny
Even though it sounds unlikely, there are all sorts of ways to make yourself laugh when you want to cry. For example, my siblings and I tend to pull out this classic Friends line:
This song is also excellent for making someone giggle when they’re crying. Making yourself (or someone you love) laugh whilst weeping is brilliant. It may not solve the underlying problem, but it’s good to remind yourself that stuff is still funny.
Have a gorgeous Monday.