Hello, dear reader! How are you?
Today I turned 25, which is lovely because I have an excuse to eat lots of cake and do pretty much whatever I like (within the limits of physics, morality and the law, obviously). Having said that, I am not actually very good at birthdays. This is for three reasons:
1) The paranoia: will my friends turn up to my party? Do they still like me? Have they decided in the last twelve hours that none of them can be bothered to trek to North London for cake and scones?! …Actually, what am I saying? My friends would walk through fire to get to cake.
2) The perfection crisis: I think we all do this. On our birthdays we expect perfect weather, green traffic lights, punctual public transport and shiny, healthy-looking hair. It’s the one day of the year when everything is supposed to go our way. People who are angry with us should automatically forgive us, we shouldn’t have to go to work and frankly the washing up can be left ’til tomorrow. (That’s such a lie. I’m definitely going to do the washing up once I’ve finished this.)
3) I have been known, upon hearing the greeting “Happy Birthday!” to accidentally utter “thanks, you too” in response.
Luckily, I share my birthday with some awesome people who are better at this stuff than I am (and if they wished me a happy birthday, that embarrassing response would actually make sense):
- Ed Byrne: one of my favourite Irish comedians, who also happens to be BFFs with Dara O’Briain and has some brilliant stories about him, such as this one. I’ve met Ed Byrne (as you can see from the picture), and he’s lovely. I hope he’s having a brilliant day. (Milton Jones is lovely as well, so I hope his birthday is nice, whenever it is.)
- Alex Pettyfer: you know him, the guy with the face who was in that film. Yeah, him. Apparently people tell my friend Ben that he looks a lot like Alex Pettyfer, but I think Ben has a less grumpy/confused-looking face, which is good. (In fact, you can judge for yourself – he’s the blond chap in the picture.) Happy birthday Alex; do try to crack a smile.
- Mandy Moore: I always think that I should hate her, but I don’t. She was very funny in Scrubs, she was excellent in Tangled and in general she seems alright at what she does. So why do I want to hate her? I don’t know. Sorry, Mandy. Have a nice birthday.
- Theodosius II: born 401 AD, he became Emperor of the Eastern half of the Roman Empire at the age of seven. That is one heck of a birthday present.
- Vincent Jaskowski: not a famous man (although he should be, purely based on his generosity and ability to do strange voices), but one of my closest friends and the person who deserves to have the best birthday of us all.
Have a stupendously lovely day (even if it isn’t your birthday), and I hope that wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, cake will find you somehow.