Hello, lovely reader! Long time no see! How have you been?
I recently came across this article on Buzzfeed about how it feels to be perpetually running late. I have a few friends who belong to this happy clan of tardiness, and I can’t say that I love them any less for their constant cries of “sorry, I thought we were meeting at twelve/my alarm didn’t go off/the dog ate my Oyster card”. However, on behalf of those of us who are so paranoid that we turn up obscenely early for everything, I would like to submit my own list of thoughts and problems. Here it is:
1) You must always, always have a bag that’s big enough to contain whichever book you’ve selected to keep you company while you wait for people.
2) Finishing your book (or – horror of horrors – forgetting one altogether) can completely ruin your day.
3) You get so involved in the plot of your book that when other people turn up, you get a bit annoyed with them for interrupting you.
4) You tend to look a bit too eager on first dates.
5) Ditto job interviews.
6) It is ALWAYS left to you to get the party started, because an invitation that says 7pm means 6.45 to you and 9pm to everyone else.
7) By the time everyone else turns up to the party you are at least three drinks ahead, which never bodes well.
8) You are often left to the mercy of the weather.
9) Thoughtless people assume that you have nothing better to do, whereas actually you are very busy but you hate the idea of letting people down. Consequently…
10) …Arriving somewhere on time rather than early makes you feel like an abject failure.
11) People who usually arrive late think that you secretly judge them.
12) You secretly judge people who always turn up late, and have to hide it from them.
13) You don’t understand how anyone could possibly be so laid back as to not mind being three seconds late for something.
14) You feel like a lone pioneer of good manners in an increasingly disrespectful and inconsiderate world of lateness.
15) You’re aware that there are more important things in life than being obsessively prompt, but you’re buggered if you can break the habit.