Tag Archives: breakfast

15 Words We Need To Use More Often

wordplay4

Hello, dear reader.  I don’t know about you but I could really do with a coffee.  Do you want anything from the kettle?

After writing yesterday’s post about old fashioned things I think we ought to revive, I started thinking about words in the same way.  Every so often one of my friends will use a word like “balderdash” or “parenthetical” and everyone will go “ooh, that’s a great word!  Let’s bring that word back!”

Here are some brilliant and under-used words which I think we should all be attempting to bring back into everyday conversation:

  • Accubation – eating or drinking whilst lying down.  A fancy way of explaining that your hangover is preventing vertical movement.
  • Agerasia – the state of looking younger than you actually are.  Better than saying “I always get ID’d.”
  • Borborygmus – the sound of gas rumbling through your intestine.  Better than saying “I’ve got one brewing.”
  • Capernoited – slightly drunk/tipsy.  Trying to remember this word will be a good way to measure how capernoited/drunk you actually are.
  • Cruciverbalist – a person who loves doing crossword puzzles.  A better way of describing yourself than “word nerd”.
  • Farctate – being overly full of food. A marginally better way of saying “I’m stuffed”, but only marginally, because it sort-of sounds like “fart-ate”.  
  • Inaniloquent – being prone to say silly/inane things.  This one is going to come in very useful for all of us when we’re at parties with people we don’t like.
  • Jentacular – pertaining to breakfast.  I just love the idea of having a word that specifically means “breakfast stuff”.  I think that’s amazing.  Is there one for brunch as well?  
  • Lalochezia – the practise of using bad words to relieve stress/pain, e.g. swearing when you stub your toe.  I think this one is handy because if you get told off for swearing you can use a fancy word to justify your use of an obscenity.
  • Lethologica – the inability to remember the precise word for something.  Happens to lots of people all the time, although if you’ve forgotten a word like “jam” then I’d say your chances of remembering “lethologica” are pretty slim.
  • Prosopography – the description of a person’s appearance.  A good word to have on hand when trying to avoid looking shallow.
  • Qualtagh – the first person you see after leaving the house.  This is a bit silly of me, but I just love the idea of pointing at your unsuspecting postman/lollipop lady/bus driver and shouting “Hello, qualtagh!”
  • Sabrage – the act of opening a bottle with a sabre.  Not one I’ve ever tried myself, but now I sort-of have to, just so that I can use the word.
  • Sphallolalia – flirty talk that goes nowhere.  Write that one down, guys.  We’re definitely going to need it.
  • Tarantism – the urge to overcome sadness by dancing.  THIS IS A FANCY WORD FOR WANTING TO DANCE YOUR CARES AWAY.  The world is now a better place.

Have a truly outstanding Wednesday.  Extra cookies for anyone who manages to use all fifteen of those words in one day.

Advertisements

Planet Party

sad_Pluto-e1364831800673

Good morning, lovely reader!  I hope you’ve had a delicious breakfast this morning.  You did eat breakfast, didn’t you?  You have to make time for it, you know.  It’s the most important meal of the day.

Aggressively maternal advice out of the way, today’s blog is a very unscientific argument against a tragic scientific event: the declassification of Pluto as a planet in our solar system.  A few days ago my brother posted a link to this article on his Facebook page, not realising that it had been published on April Fools’ Day.  Even though we’re both in our twenties and are not particularly stupid (most of the time), it took our parents to point out to us that it was probably a hoax.  We were outraged, heartbroken and other completely disproportionate emotions.  Pluto should be a planet again!  Why?  I’m so glad you asked.  Here are my completely unscientific arguments for the reinstatement of Pluto as a planet:

  • Dear scientists, on behalf of my generation: STOP MESSING WITH OUR MNEMONICS.  Don’t make us waste weeks, months and years of our lives learning acronyms for stuff if you’re then going to change the whole damn thing as soon as we’re grown ups.  Everyone learned  “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas” (or something similar) to remember the NINE planets of the solar system.  It’s a deeply ingrained, wholly immovable bit of learning that you now want us to disregard after years of committing the phrase to memory.  What’s next?  Will we discover next week that Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain has to be changed because it turns out that orange is a figment of our imagination?
  • Apparently the main argument for declassifying Pluto was based on its size in relation to the other planets.  REALLY?  In this day and age we are hyper-paranoid about causing offense to anyone by even referencing their weight, height, race, colour, creed, sexuality or taste in music, but we can be sizeist about celestial bodies?  That’s ridiculous.
  • Also, the planets are all a bit weird in their own way.  If the solar system were a party, it would be insane: Mars would be the angry drunk, Venus would have dressed inappropriately for the time of year, Jupiter would be the guy who broke the chair he sat on, Mercury would be off his face on something, Saturn would be kitted out in a load of bling, Uranus would be the wallflower, Neptune would be the latecomer who brings more booze and Earth would be the overcompensating host.  Don’t tell me there’s no room for the short guy who’s buzzing about chatting to everyone.

There you have it: a completely ludicrous argument for something that does not affect our day-to-day lives very much, but that I feel pretty strongly about nonetheless.  I think it’s mainly because of the party analogy; the idea of excluding somebody from a shindig for any reason at all just seems wrong.

Have a brilliant Tuesday.  If you skipped breakfast, make sure you have lots of protein in your lunch.

February Sucks (But You’re Pretty Awesome)

Image

Good evening, lovely reader!  I hope that Tuesday has been kind to you.

I hate to sound like a downtrodden farmer’s wife from an awful film, but it’s been a long and difficult winter.  2014 has not started well for lots of people I love.  Having repeatedly insisted to one another that this WILL be our year, I think a lot of us are starting to lose momentum.  We’re nearly two months in, and so far 2014 is a mixed bag to say the least.

On top of the terrifying news about floods, sink holes and that horrible woman torturing people in Russia, we are all living with personal fears and issues.  There are money worries, love life crises and all sorts of other concerns dominating my friends’ mental landscapes, and I personally spend an inordinate amount of time wondering what on earth my hair thinks it’s doing.

Two million people in the UK suffer with Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is a type of depression linked to the seasons and specifically to sunlight.  You can get sunlight-imitating light bulbs and take other small steps to help yourself with the disorder, but there’s no doubt about it this time of year is very hard for people with SAD.

So, to sum up: the world is going to hell on a Boris bike and our own lives are not so great, either.  February sucks.  The British thing to do would be to grumble about it (quietly), and just keep going.  In a fit of non-patriotic activity, I have decided against that tactic.  I want this month to be a really good one, not just the usual post-Christmas “there’s nothing to look forward to” malaise.  So here is what I’m going to do about it, and I hope that other people who are struggling with this month can find similar things to cheer themselves up.

1) Eat something delicious for breakfast

It would be nice to eat something delicious for every meal, obviously, but breakfast is the most important meal because it sets up your metabolism for the day ahead.  You don’t want to get half way through your busy morning of being an awesome human being and run out of energy, do you?  Making yourself a great breakfast is good for you emotionally as well as physically, too: treating yourself to your favourite cereal (or whatever you fancy) puts you in a good mood right from the off.

2) Talk to an old friend

A text, a phone call, a coffee: however it happens, make sure it does happen.  Making a small effort to reconnect with someone that you care about but don’t see/speak to regularly is a really nice way to keep your chin up during this time of year.  You get friend points, you get to catch up with someone you love, and you have an opportunity to escape your day-to-day life and laugh with a friend.  People appreciate the gesture, and coffee is always good.

3) Do something selfless

This is a fairly common piece of advice, but it really does work.  Doing something selfless, no matter how small or inconsequential it might seem to be, is always good.  After all, we have no way of knowing how far reaching one selfless action’s effects will be.  Plus, you can be secretly smug about it.  Secretly, mind.  Don’t go bragging or you’ll lose the cosmic brownie points.

4) Tick something off the bucket list

Everyone has things that they absolutely have to have achieved before they die.  They are things that you want to do, you have wanted to do for a long time, and which say a lot about who you are and what matters most to you.  Do one of them.  Seriously, why not?  Why not use this meagre month to achieve something that would genuinely make you happy?  Carpe every diem.

5) Say nice things to people

Compliment people.  It sounds a bit weird as an instruction.  I’m sure you are a perfectly lovely person who gives compliments already, but think about it: if you find something to compliment about every person you speak to on a regular basis, such as your colleagues and house mates, you are training yourself to look at your day-to-day life in a positive light.  Plus, people love receiving compliments.  Even if you don’t like the person, give it a go.  You can do that, can’t you?  Yeah you can.  ‘Cause you’re awesome.