Tag Archives: best friend

Cliché Corrections

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Hello, lovely reader!  How are you?  Gosh, it’s been ages, hasn’t it?

I would like to apologise on behalf of myself and my erstwhile laptop for the radio silence this week.  On Friday, Calcifer unceremoniously died on me, and had to be taken to a computer repair place.  And yes, I did name my computer after a character from Howl’s Moving Castle.  He is back in action once more, thank goodness, so I can carry on talking to you lovely people.

Today’s blog is about clichés.  We use them all the time, perhaps without even noticing how frequently we drop them into conversation, and we rely upon them to make our meanings clear.  Clichés can be annoying, trite or even offensive, but they are also a tried-and-tested method of expressing ideas in a way that everybody understands.

Having said that, some clichés now seem to be a bit outdated or irrelevant to modern life.  We still understand their meanings, but honestly, how often do any of us have any birds at all, let alone ones in bushes?  With this in mind, I have decided to tweak a few famous phrases to better suit our needs.

Hell hath no fury like a woman whose best friend has been scorned

It’s true that scorned women tend to be pretty angry, but their friends’ wrath is usually much scarier.  The last time I found myself in a somewhat scorned state, my beloved flat mate Ash was livid, and she doesn’t really “do” anger very often.  Potential scorners, beware: women are of the (absolutely correct) opinion that their best friends are beautiful, fascinating and lovable human beings – hence the friendship – and if you mess things up, they will come down on you like a furious ton of bricks.

A watched phone never beeps

I admit that I sometimes stand and watch a pot of water, getting cross because it just won’t boil.  However, that invariably turns out to be because I forgot to switch the hob on, rather than my feverish anticipation affecting the laws of physics.  In this day and age, communication technology has become the pot, and texts, Tweets and Facebook notifications are the bubbles we wait for.  Particularly when we are interested in someone or we are waiting to hear about a job interview, we just can’t tear our eyes away from our screens.  Well, it sucks but it’s true: waiting for something won’t make it happen.  Put your phone down and make yourself a cup of tea.

Plenty more fish on the dating website

Those of you have read this blog about Tinder will recall that I’m not a huge fan of internet dating, but I completely understand why so many people are.  I find the original cliché about there being an abundance of fish in the sea silly for two reasons: firstly, talking about fish either makes me want to watching Finding Nemo or eat smoked salmon, so I tend to get distracted from the task of finding said fish.  Secondly, the unanimous response to “plenty more fish in the sea” is “I don’t WANT another fish, I want THAT fish!” Or boy, or girl, I guess.  If you’re actually attracted to fish then we’re probably focussing on the wrong issue, here.
Anyway, the point is that finding new potential partners is daunting after a heartbreak.  Even though I’d never use it myself, I think it’s kind of nice that people can browse internet dating sites to ease themselves back into romance and all that jazz.

When life gives you lemons, go and find the tequila

Who among us actually knows how to make lemonade out of lemons?  Not me, that’s for sure.  I do know how to do a tequila shot, though.  I’m being flippant about some fairly sound advice, here: when bad things happen, find a way to make them work to your advantage.  I totally agree with this idea, but I also think that sometimes all you can do is switch off.  I’m not condoning binge drinking as a solution to life’s woes, but I do think that we should relax and enjoy ourselves when we can.  Sometimes there just isn’t a way to get a positive outcome from a negative situation, and at those times all we can do is try to have some fun.

Well, it’s lovely to be back with you, dear reader.  Have a fantastic day, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Songs for When You’re Sad

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Good morning, reader!  How’s your Thursday so far?  Yeah, same here.

What is the one thing that can make you feel better when you’re low?  The answer varies from person to person, but I think we can all agree that certain songs always put a smile on our faces.  This is tricky to do accounting for everyone’s different tastes, but here are some songs that I definitely recommend listening to if you find yourself flagging a bit (we’re nearly there, but it’s STILL not Friday), and need cheering up.  YouTube links are in the titles:

1) The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
This is a great song for people who are feeling a bit stuck or lost.  The song itself is upbeat and rocky (I should apologise now for the fact that I have no idea how to describe music, by the way), and the lyrics are encouraging.  An all-round excellent motivator for anyone who feels victimised at work, left out by their friends, out of the loop or just fed up.

2) I’m Not Crying – Flight of the Conchords
This is for anyone on the verge of tears.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t know or watch Flight of the Conchords (although you really should check them out).  The reason that this song works so well for when you’re upset is that it covers all bases: its tone is melancholy and appropriate to your mood, but the lyrics are so funny that you end up laughing at your own sadness.  Any time that I’ve been crying or upset and listened to this, I’ve immediately felt better.  It’s like the Pro Plus of uplifting music.

3) Send Me On My Way – Rusted Root
This one’s just common sense by now, surely?  Alright, none of us know the words, but does that really matter?  It’s been a firm favourite since childhood thanks to Matilda and Ice Age, and it’s still got an irresistible cheer factor now.  I defy you to be unhappy while listening to this tune.

4) Every Little Thing – Delirious?
This is a song by a Christian band (don’t knock ’em til you’ve heard ’em), and it has been making me feel better about life since I was fifteen.  It’s actually more of a cathartic tune than an immediate happy-maker, but its message is very simple: everything is going to be alright.  And it is, you know.

5) Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles
Really?  Out of every Beatles song ever, I’ve gone for this one?  Yep.  Two reasons: firstly, it’s got some cracking lines: “Desmond says to Molly ‘girl, I like your face'” which is just brilliant, and b) during recording Paul McCartney  sang the lyrics wrong at the end, implying that Desmond and Molly Jones are actually a gay couple, which you can hear them all trying not to giggle at.  I think it’s very sweet that they kept and used that recording, because the song is just a cute little love story – who cares if it’s about a gay couple or a straight one?

6) This Too Shall Pass – Ok Go
Cracking, cheerful song and, as always from Ok Go, an insanely amazing video.  In fact, any of their videos will do the trick.

7) You Should Be Dancing – Bee Gees
You know, you SHOULD be dancing.  Forget your troubles and have a boogie, I guarantee you’ll feel better.

8) The song that reminds you of your best friend
This one has no YouTube link (obviously), but it’s probably the best song on the list.  You might recall from this post that my lovely friend Becca introduced me to lots of very good music when we were at university together.  Whenever a song comes on that reminds me of her, I think about how brilliant she is and how much fun we’ve had together.  So go and find the song that does the same thing for you and your best friend, and then if you’re still feeling sad, give them a call.  That’s what best friends are for.

Have the best Thursday since records began.