Good morrow, dear reader. I must begin by apologising profusely for having been absent for a whole month, which is just morally wrong. Please forgive me.
My main excuse is that I have had pretty dreadful writer’s block, including all of the usual symptoms: staring blankly at my laptop screen, getting distracted in the middle of conversations and constantly thinking strange things like “WHERE ARE ALL THE WORDS?!” The weirdest thing about this bout – which is also kind of reassuring – is that I know where the writer’s block has come from. I have been trying to do too many things at once, and this metaphorical juggling act has landed me in a pile of broken plates and a lot of unfinished tasks.
A lot of the time life throws us all sorts of tasks and trials at once, and we have to prioritise accordingly. Some people thrive under pressure of the multi-faceted kind, but for the rest of us it feels impossible to keep on top of everything, and instead we tumble after our lives with a vague sense of having forgotten something important. In my case, it’s usually the house keys.
So what is it that you are tumbling after? Which small duties are distracting you from chasing after what you actually want? Do you have dreams and ambitions that you’re not fulfilling because your to do list is out of control? Who do you want to be? What kind of people do you want to spend your life with? Where – if I may paraphrase the question that haunts all twenty-somethings as soon as they wake up in the morning – is your life going?
These questions and more besides are driving a lot of the collaborative work in rehearsals for Tumbling After, the devised piece that I’m directing for the Edinburgh Fringe 2015. The cast, movement director and I are especially interested in why people choose to spend their lives with certain people. How often are our relationships the result of sensible choices that we make with clear minds? (Answer: rarely.) How often are we willing to blindly fall down a hill, hoping to find love at the bottom? (Answer: alarmingly frequently.)
It’s never easy to ask these questions, because they remind us so vividly of how much time we spend chasing after purpose, success and overall happiness. That can be stressful. But the unexamined life, as Socrates once said over feta and vino, is not worth living. Examining ourselves in detail and assessing where we are in relation to what we want is not an easy thing to do, but if we don’t check in with our lifetime goal list at least once in a while, then all we are ever doing is stumbling and tumbling without knowing what we’re getting into.
We all have our own ways of sorting out our lives: mine is to sit in a rehearsal room and tell four actors where to stand. Not the most ground-breaking approach, but it seems to be working for me. I hope that your method is equally enjoyable.
Have a fantastic day.