Hey, Where Are You?

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Happy Friday, you gorgeous thing!  The weekend is almost upon us!

Do you remember the other day when I said that our lives are personalised Monopoly boards?  Well, it turns out that in life we are playing all sorts of board games.  The world of dating demands a Battleships-type strategy, venturing onto the London Underground during planned engineering works is essentially one big Risk, and when someone’s lunch goes missing from the staff room kitchen, you’re probably going to get stuck in a bizarre version of workplace Cluedo.

This is because we all develop different techniques for thriving and surviving different periods of our lives, and although we may think that being the same age as someone puts us on a level playing field with them, that is hardly ever the case.  For instance, my friend Andy is a few months younger than I am.  He is in a very long-term couple; I am not.  He is about to buy a house with his lovely girlfriend; I am renting a flat with my insane (but brilliant) best friend, which is known by our most frequent guests as Bag End.  Andy is essentially being a grown-up, and I am not.

I am absolutely fine with that.  Andy’s position in life (i.e. on the verge of house-purchasing) is a wonderful thing, because he and his girlfriend have been looking forward to this moment for ages, they’ve worked hard to save up the money for a deposit, and they’re very much in love.

If a friend your age is getting married, it has absolutely no reflection on your love life.  If a university peer gets promoted, it doesn’t impact negatively on your career.  We need to stop looking at the people in our age bracket and thinking that what happens to them “must” happen to us immediately too, because what’s right for one person might be hideously badly timed for another.  Case in point: I am not ready for Andy’s life.  I am not ready to live with a partner, I am not ready to commit to a mortgage, and I’m definitely not ready to settle down in one geographical area.   I’ve never even been to Blackpool, for crying out loud.

I’m sure that when we’re with the right person all of the house-marriage-kids stuff will fall into place, just as I’m sure that our careers will have their turning points at the opportune moment.  These things will happen to us when we’re actually ready for them.  Not only that, but they will probably happen because we’re actually ready for them.  Why would you want someone else’s life now, when you get to have yours in the future?  Why does where they are matter more than where you are?

Have something very delicious for lunch today.  You deserve it.

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